They're all gonna laugh at you
My name is Jasmine. I am a Manchester United supporter. Paul Scholes is my hero.
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"I have absolutely no script in my mind. I’m just going to ramble on and hope I get to the core of what this football club means.

First of all, it’s a  thank you to Manchester United; not just the directors, not just the medical staff, the coaching staff, the players, the supporters, it’s all of you. You have been the most fantastic experience of my life. Thank you.

I have been very fortunate. I have been able to manage some of the greatest players in the country, let alone Manchester United. All these players today have represented this club the proper way- they have won a championship in fantastic fashion. Well done to the players.

My retirement doesn’t mean the end of my life with the club. I will now be able to enjoy watching them, rather than suffer with them. But, if you think about it, those last-minute goals, the comebacks - even the defeats are all part of this great football club of ours, so thank you for that.

I’d also like to remind you that when we had bad times here the club stood by me, all my staff stood by me, the players stood by me - your job now is to stand by your new manager. That is important.

Before I start blubbling, I just want to pay tribute to Paul Scholes, who retires today. Unbelievable, one of the greatest players this club has ever had or ever will have. Paul, we wish you a good retirement. I know you will be around to annoy me. Also, I would like to say a little word wishing Darren Fletcher a speedy comeback to our club.  

The players, I wish the players every success in the future. You know how good you are, you know the jersey you’re wearing, and you know what it means to everyone here. Don’t ever let yourselves down. The expectation is always there.

I’m going home, well, I’m going inside for a while, and I want to say thank you again from all the Ferguson family, they are all up there - 11 grandchildren. Thank you.”

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    "I have absolutely no script in my mind. I’m just going to ramble on and hope I get to the core of what this football...
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